everything about this… this statue, the choppy waves, the cliffs behind her, the echo, the drumming….. aesthetic
Lyrics in Faroese:
Trøllabundin eri eg eri eg Galdramaður festi meg festi meg Trøllabundin djúpt í míni sál í míni sál Í hjartanum logar brennandi bál brennandi bál
Trøllabundin eri eg eri eg Galdramaður festi meg festi meg Trøllabundin inn í hjartarót í hjartarót Eyga mítt festist har ið galdramaður stóð
English translation:
Spellbound am I, am I The wizard has enchanted me, enchanted me Spellbound deep in my soul, in my soul In my heart burns a smouldering fire, smouldering fire
Spellbound am I, am I The wizard has enchanted me, enchanted me Spellbound in my heart’s root, my heart’s root
More unreasonable D&D magic items: an enchanted ring that appears to grant the wearer occasional strokes of plausibly deniable good luck. What it actually does is confer upon the wearer the near-religious loyalty of a mob of small, extremely stealthy goblin-like creatures who believe that it’s their sacred duty to help the ring’s bearer without allowing their involvement to become known. This works well enough in wilderness or dungeon; problems start to arise when the wearer gets back to town for some downtime, as the ring’s minions have never been outside the dungeon and have no idea how civilisation works, but still feel obliged to help.
i love these goblins and will defend them with my life.
I want to hug them and make them little hats
Ring of Nac Mac Feegle
If you harm my goblins, I will bring a precision storm upon you that will steal the breaths of hell and the wrath of the gods
Yes, but the goblins just brought me the head of the cobbler who refused to give me a discount on these +1 boots of speed, and the City Watch is now knocking on the door of my room here in the inn. Which’d be enough of a thing on it’s own, but this is the third time this has happened this week.
The Leatherdos is a hair clip that doubles as a multi-tool that combines 5 different tools in a tiny hair clip: screw-drivers, a wrench, a trolley coin, a ruler, and a cutting edge.
Fun story: I have one of these, and wore it every day while working as a vet assistant at a pet clinic. One day a kitten comes in with a cord knotted around her neck, and everyone’s trying to get it unknotted before she heads in for her spay.
I just whip off the hair clip, grab the cord, and slice through it in one go. Everyone stood there, surprised, and stared at the cord in my hand that I just sawed through with a hair clip.
This would be AMAZING if you got kidnapped, or, in this case, a pet gets tangled in something. It’s very light and flexible, but the insides of the teeth are sharp enough to get the job done.
If space travel doesn’t involve sea shanties then I think we’ll have missed an opportunity.
You see though, for sea travel you want big strong people who are capable of managing rigging. For space travel you want small low-mass people who are technically educated, as they are called, nerds. Your space shanties are going to be less booming and more squeaky.
in so far as there will be space shanties, they’ll be filk
I call shenanigans on the big strong people; sailors were young and malnourished by modern standards, and climbing around the rigging is easier if you’re small and light.
Like, I am 100% in favor of shanties in as many situations as possible, but I’m having trouble coming up with a mode of space travel that would require multiple humans to move in concert, thus necessitating songs with a strong beat to move to.
Sea chanties were for providing a strong beat to move to. Space chanties might very well arise just because we’re bored, out there between point A and point B for so long.
(Also yes, @gdanskcityofficial up there has the right of it.)
Space shanties are for warp piloting. Under warp drive, human time perception and time as measured by crystal or atomic oscillators don’t match. Starship pilots listen to a small unamplified chorus singing a careful rhythm while keeping their own eyes on a silent metronome that the chorus can’t see, linked to a highly-precise atomic clock. How the chorus and metronome fall in and out of sync tells the pilot how to keep the ship safely in the warp bubble and correctly on course.
Depending on route, a typical warp jump can last anywhere from one to ten minutes, and most courses consist of five to fifteen jumps before a necessary four to six hour break to check the engines, plot the next set of jumps, and give everyone a chance to recover. A good shanty team, with reliable rhythm, a broad, versatile, and extendible repertoire, and the stamina to do 3-4 sets a day over the course of a voyage, is just as vital to space travel as a pilot, navigator, or engineering team.
Other reasons Shanties will experience a revival in the space age:
We will sing for any freaking reason, or no reason at all, and Shanties are FUN to sing.
Deep Space is a lonely place and recruiting people suited to long periods of isolation might be a good idea. People from Newfoundland/Labrador, for instance.
SPACE WHALES
THEY’RE DEFINITELY REAL I FEEL IT IN MY SOUL
“What Do We Do With A Drunken Sailor” is basically a revenge fantasy against your most incompetent co-workers and if there’s something humans love doing, it’s being petty.
Plus, no need for work songs in space? Tell that to all my colleagues who’ve come up with little ditties they’ve sung under their breath while at the computer.
“The Printer Song” and “I Will Fucking End You, Google Chrome” are my favourites.
Odd Howard was a great wizard who sought to become a god, but in his hubris he overreached himself; the worlds he created were incomplete and unstable, and ultimately collapsed in on themselves, trapping him beyond time and space. Now he offers his patronage to lesser reality-shapers in the hopes that one of them will discover the means of his escape.
Expanded Spell List
Odd Howard lets you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a warlock spell. The following spells are added to the warlock spell list for you.
1st: charm person, grease 2nd: enlarge/reduce, gust of wind 3rd: blink, slow 4th: confusion, freedom of movement 5th: animate objects, passwall
Hidden Geometries
Beginning at 1st level, your patron grants you secret knowledge of the geometries of worlds; armed with this understanding, there is no mountain you cannot climb. You gain proficiency in Athletics, and climbing and swimming do not cost extra movement for you.
Spatial Bewilderment
Starting at 6th level, your position in space becomes ambiguous. When you are targeted by a harmful effect, as a reaction you can cause that effect to be resolved as though you were standing anywhere within ten feet of your true position. This doesn’t cause attacks and spells that target a creature to miss you unless the chosen position is beyond their range, though you benefit from any cover the chosen position would enjoy. It does, however, exempt you from effects that target an area rather than a creature if the chosen position is outside the effect’s area. This feature does not actually cause you to move.
Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a short or long rest.
Disquieting Confidence
Beginning at 10th level, your patron’s unnerving self-assurance begins to rub off on you. You are immune to the frightened condition, and when another creature tries to impose this condition on you, you can use your reaction to turn it back on them. The creature must succeed on a Wisdom saving throw against your warlock spell DC or be frightened by you until the end of its next turn. Creatures that are ordinarily immune to the frightened condition can be affected in this way.
Telluric Discord
Starting at 14th level, you can cause an object or creature’s very existence to become dissonant with the substance of the world. As an action, choose an object or creature of Huge size or smaller that you can see within 60 feet of you. The target is instantly hurled up to 120 feet in a direction of your choice. A creature targeted by this feature lands prone and receives damage as though it had fallen from that distance (hurling it straight up does not cause it to suffer damage twice); the creature may attempt a Wisdom saving throw versus your warlock spell save DC in order to halve both distance and damage. An object targeted by this feature inflicts the same damage to anything it strikes; striking a creature in this way requires a ranged attack roll.
Once you use this feature, you can’t use it again until you finish a long rest.
So I know this is just a drawn out Bethesda joke, but I’d fucking love to play this. It sounds so damn fun to just… Glitch my way through a dragon’s claws and then fucking clip it through reality at a million miles per hour.
Feel free. I haven’t playtested it, but I did run the numbers fairly rigorously – I’m like 80% sure this is a balanced and rules-legal patron. I’d be interested to hear how it works out!
one time i was on an old street in glasgow and i made a loud joke about vampires and as i did this beautiful man with long hair on the other side of the street made direct eye contact with me and then ten minutes later he walked by again and looked at me and I still count that on my list of the five closest times I’ve ever come to dying
likely: I am just too loud to not look at in public places and he was just lost downtown
also likely: vampire, scoping me out for the kill
maybe the vampire just thought you were hot and funny?
a vampire finding u hot and interesting is AS bad as them finding you ugly and annoying as far as the Trying To Remain Human And Alive thing goes
It must be hard for the vampire too. Technically as they prey on humans for their blood, they rank higher than us in the food chain. To them, we are but sentient sandwiches. A vampire finding a human attractive has my eternal sympathy, because it’s basically like falling in love with a sandwich and that must be difficult to process.
Nogling 