Advice from an hereditary witch’s grandmother: things a crone has to say
My witch of a grandmother gave me her beautiful encyclopedia on healing plants to celebrate Ostara! I told her about my blog and she asked me to share some of her advice “for those lovely internet disciples of yours”. No, Yeyé, that’s not how this works…
But hey! When the crone talks, you listen!
“A jar of glass keeps away envious spirits and people who want to hurt you.”
“Everything dead deserves to be honored.”
“Strings of seeds bring prosperity.”
“A stone in the windowsill is a soldier that keeps away thieves, but make sure it’s not a pretty rock cause they might steal it!”
“When you trim a vine, keep some branches by the door so all the hard work you’ve done doesn’t disappear in a single day!”
“When you’re old and can’t move so much anymore, keep a jar of seeds by the Gods so they can pick their offerings as they please.”
“I keep lavender by the computer because it helps me remember how to open Facebook. Lavender is good for memory. Tell your friends of the internet.”
“I keep the obsidian and the agathe geodes in front of the TV so there will be no bad news.”
So there you have it.
Advice from an authentic crone with over 70 years of Craft , Old Yeyé.
She wishes you all many blessings and love and hopes you are all well guided.
me to the demon in the corner of my room: ain’t u got shit to do
He’d been lurking about for days now, this shadow thing. It used to scare me, terrify me straight into insomnia. But it had just stood there the whole time. Now it seemed part of the furniture, if I’m being honest.
I started talking to it. Probably not my best idea, I’ll give you that, but it’s not like I had anyone else around. I would tell it about my day as I readied for bed. Jeff was a dick at the meeting this morning. Had the best hot dog off the best cart in the city for lunch. SIX reports due by Friday? Kellen must be trying to kill me. I even wished it good night. And it just stared, with its glowing red eyes.
One night, I had to stay late at the office. Really late. Remember those six reports? They turned into fifteen. And if I didn’t get them done for this major client, it was my head on the HR guillotine. So I stayed late. I ended up crashing on the sofa in the break room and woke up to more work on my desk. That was Thursday morning. I had to get this all done by Monday.
On Friday night, around ten, I decided to go home and get some real sleep before going back to the office to finish this insane task. And then I felt it. Something was here with me and it wasn’t the janitor.
I looked in the corner and there were those eyes again, surrounded by shadow. I sighed. I really didn’t have time for this, not here.
“Ain’t you got shit to do?” I snapped, walking to the break room for yet more coffee. So much for going home to sleep.
A growling sound, then a deep, rasping voice said, “I miss you.”
I stopped. “What do you mean, you miss me? Aren’t you a demon or something?”
“You didn’t come home. I’ve been worried. What are you doing here?”
We’d never conversed like this. It was almost comforting, like a friend would be.
“I’m working, man. I’ve got a big client coming on Monday and Kellen put all these damn reports on my desk and if I don’t get them done, I’m probably gonna get fired.” I ranted as I took off my tie and ran my fingers through my hair.
The demon paused, thinking. It moved slowly around the room, taking it all in.
“Do you want me to eat Kellen?” it suddenly asked.
I laughed, “No, don’t eat Kellen. It’s not really his fault.”
“Then what shall I do?”
I sighed and considered. What could a shadow demon do to help me?
“Do you know anything about graphic design and marketing?”
It paused its roaming. “I ate an artist’s soul, once.”
“Good enough. Just sit behind me and tell me what looks good.”
On Monday morning, the company landed the client, I got a raise, and arranged it so I could work from home two days a week. We moved to a bigger flat two months later. It makes cinnamon pancakes on Saturdays.
Last night I had a dream I was reading a new Pratchett book and Vetinari somehow promoted Vimes again and while Vimes was looking for a way to escape the ceremony he fell down a manhole and when Colon offered to get help he was like “nah I’ll just sleep here”
Nogling 