Category: Uncategorized

yourplayersaidwhat:

The barbarian stands in a field surrounded by dead guards with slaves he helped escape behind him, bloody axe in hand.

DM: As the last enemy falls a new group of soldiers ride up on horses.

Soldier: You there what are you doing?

Barbarian: Farmin’!

DM: bluff check.

Barbarian rolls nat 20 and decades of laughter ensues.

Horror Game Concept

gallusrostromegalus:

You play as a dumbass that stays up all night watching murder myseties, and your companion is your equally stupid dog that decides he wants to go out at 2AM, on a literally dark and stormy night in a only-sort-of euclidian suburban neighborhood that backs up into The Mountains.  Your Dog has better sensory perception than you, but terrible judgment, and you have at your disposal:

  • Flashlight that apparently only works for 45 seconds at a time and needs 3 minutes to recharge
  • Cell Phone (12% battery)
  • $6 folding knife you got at walmart for opening boxes, and that you have no training with
  • Bear Mace.  Might be expired.  Might explode if used.

On your walk through the neighborhood you’ll meet such lovely NPCs as:

  • Random guy in shorts wandering between the houses looking for “My girlfriend, Kristin, she drives a black honda”
  • white utility van with no front lisence plate and a broken headlight that’s apparently circling the neighborhood
  • Karen, drunk crying on her front porch.  At 10 PM, that’s not unusual but it’s 2AM and 24 degrees out.  She threw a shoe at you last time you asked what was wrong.
  • The on-and-off sound of someone jogging on the next street over but that stops right before the jogger should come in view. The longer you play, the closer they get before stopping.
  • Rodger’s large and aggressive bloodhound, roaming the neighborhood
  • Something with glowing eyes at the end of the hiking road.  It might be a deer, but it’s awfully tall.

Enjoy such engaging enviornmental effects as:

  • Coyote noises!
  • Shit, those aren’t coyote noises at all!
  • All the lights are on in every single room in that one house with the rowdy kids, but absolutely nobody is home and it’s kind of a mess
  • another neighbor has his front door hanging open
  • a black honda that might belong to “Kristin”, parked half way on a curb right beside the (flooded) creek
  • Loud wind!
  • and by consequence, every goddamn creepy-ass windchime clattering around and deafening you!
  • tumbleweeds that look like wild animals or people in your peripheral vison!
  • Is that the fox screaming or a child being murdered? Who knows! Not you, unless you want to spend more time out here investigating!

Anyway, I just had a terrific time taking the dog out and salting my doors, happy Firday the fucking thirteenth everyone!