i’m rereading dracula and honestly once it gets into the main plot in england it drags a bit but the opening chapters hold up as some of the most entertaining stuff ever written. like is there anything more delightful in all of horror literature than the rapid escalation from “dear diary: just had a delicious chicken dinner here in rural transylvania, the scenery is beautiful and the locals are so cute with their quaint superstitions” to “dear diary: i made it to castle dracula and things are…pretty weird actually” to “dear diary: i am a prisoner here, the count keeps eyeing me hungrily and also i just watched him crawl down the side of the castle like a lizard so uh. Im Fucked Bye”
In the heart of the fairy mound, there were two identical
cradles, each with an identical infant inside.
“One of these babies is the one you bore,” said a fairy.
“The other is the changeling we left. You may leave our hall with whichever
child you claim as your own. Choose wisely.”
“But they are both
my children,” the human mother protested indignantly.
The fairies whispered amongst themselves in surprise and
confusion. At last, one asked, “How do you mean?”
“I came to get back the child you stole from me, the one who
is mine by blood. I never agreed to give my adopted child back to you.”
Perhaps her words touched the fairies’ hearts; or perhaps
her stubbornness impressed them; or perhaps they simply found the argument
amusing, novel enough to merit a reward.
She left the fairy mound, an infant in each arm, and brought
them home.
I don’t know why, but I think about this all the time.
PLEASE LISTEN TO THIS YOU DONT REALIZE WHAT YOURE MISSING
when a song ascends through its meme status
this is now officially my funeral song
This… Is honestly amazing… Imagine putting this with a final boss where it feels like fighting is hopeless, but you continue to fight, not wanting to go down with out a fight. You’ve come too far to give up now… Perfect.
WOAAAH
I’m done
In case you’re looking for more like it, it’s from the group called simply Gregorian, from their album Dark Side Of The Chant.
Though “My Heart Will Go On” is a very close second:
I prefer their softer stuff, like what’s above, and if you like that then you’ll probably enjoy the hell out of “The Sound of Silence,” “Heaven,” and “My Immortal,” but if you want something a little more badass, “Hell’s Bells” is great.
Or if you’d like something a little more classic:
And of course … today is gonna be the day that you’re gonna hear a Gregorian version of “Wonderwall”:
elaienar said: That’s terrifying and I approve 100%.
WELL HERE IS THE THING, RIGHT? black holes you basically literally have to be in their gravity like pretty much on top of them to be sucked in. so that’s not really an issue. it’s TERRIFYING sure, but explains a few things which I will list:
my astronomy teacher said if you were somehow able to survive entering a black hole and reached the bottom or singularity, the way time works is that you would be able to see the entire universe laid out – like you’d know when the universe ended if you looked back outwards
which falls into line with the idea that the angels know all of time and everything except when it will all end precisely (or scientifically, the collapse of this universe is unknown, but supposing angels were black holes they would see until this unknown point)
matter falling into a black hole creates a disc of light which is probably among the literal BRIGHTEST things in the universe
there are angels which are supposed to be the wheels of God’s Chariot, so it would make sense if, according to theories, that there ARE massive blackholes at the center of all galaxies which is what cause them to rotate, and those black holes are angels which make the galaxy spin.
black holes were formed sometime after the big bang, which lines into the story of creation, that the angels came after the universe.
angels can choose to physically manifest like humans, but aren’t actually. it’s said that you cannot survive looking at them or hearing them directly. NASA says that the “note” a black hole emits is the deepest sound found in the universe. i am just guessing here but you would probably die if you heard it up close instead of a bazillion light years away. ALSO side note cool fact apparently that “note”: “…It’s worth pointing out that the “sound” in question is 57 octaves (and one semitone) below middle C, which makes it 247×2−57≈1.71×10−15Hz, or one whole cycle every 18.5 million years.” CRAZY RIGHT although apparently some sing other notes and basically if there’s anything people know about angels it is that they DEFINITELY SING. anyways you can’t see black holes but you can see the things around them and the soundwaves surrounding them.
also apparently scientists picked up a death “scream” of a star falling into a black hole but like…
anyways literally every angel is terrifying BE NOT AFRAID “haha okay but i’m crying though is that cool”
I made a more advanced recipe here for all y’all that want something that looks more like a tide pod here, but that recipe is… intricate. So for all y’all who want just a simple detergent pod like these juicy looking packets, I’m here for you!
Two components: edible plastic and juicy inside
First, the Plastic:
Ingredients:
2 packets (14g) Knox unflavored gelatin
6 tbsp water
Parchment paper
rectangular brownie pan
optional: ½ tbsp 7up or sprite
Instructions:
Boil the water, add gelatin mix (optional: add soda for flavor). Stir in until mix is completely melted. Let cool slightly. Cover brownie pan with parchment paper, and pour a very thin layer of gelatin mixture onto parchment. Place brownie pan into fridge and let sit overnight until hardened.
The next day, the juicy inside:
Obtain your favorite flavor of jello. Follow the instructions on the jello mix to make the jello, but don’t put it in the fridge. Let cool until room temperature.
Put it Together:
Remove edible plastic from the fridge and gently remove plastic from parchment. Cut into 5×2″ rectangles. Fold rectangle in half to create 2×2.5″ rectangles. Seal together long ends and use indirect heat to melt sides together. Leave the short end open. Pour room temperature jello into pouch and seal final end with indirect heat. Let cool in fridge a few hours, and then enjoy.
If any of you guys really have feelings for tide pods please use this recipe and don’t eat the real detergent pod. Stay safe friends!
Fun story: One of the first things I was taught as an astronomy student is that, if you want to be a dick to someone giving a presentation, ask them “and how do the magnetic fields play into this?” and they will invariably say “fuck you I don’t know” because no one understands magnetic fields they are black magic.
Pure utter bullshit. Electromagnetic forces somehow outstrip gravitic forces in strength by an obscene factor, for no reason I can comprehend and it bothers me.
I love magnets
One, that gif showing the Curie temperature is really cool.
Two, you don’t understand, magnetic fields are the bane of my existance and I have a masters dissertation about them. I studied how magnetic fields develop in low mass stars and every single meeting with my supervisor ended in some conversation about how stupid magnetism is.
“Oh yeah and this is effected by the magnetic field strength…”
“But why?”
“God knows, I don’t have a clue.”
Was literally said to me by a professor who has spent 20 years of his life looking at magnetism in stars.
ALSO:
“Don’t ask why, we don’t know. Maybe magnetism? Who knows anything about magnetism.” – My Stellar Physics professor when asked about certain processes in stellar formation, something he has been studying for 10 years.
Like we know so little about that it’s actually funny.
Kinda puts that one Insane Clown Posse quote into new context.
“In 1900, the Russian archaeologist Friedrich Zibold discovered the remains of a mysterious domed structure in the Byzantine Crimean site of Theodosia. After studying the ruins and some terracotta pipes found nearby, he proposed that the structure was an air well designed to condensate moisture from the air into water, and built a replica to test it. This replica was successful and became the precursor of modern air wells. However, it was discovered later that the ancient structure was actually a tomb, the pipes were not related to it, Zibold had used the wrong materials for his replica, and weather conditions at the time (which had included thick fog) had exaggerated the results of the experiment. But by sheer coincidence these materials were the right type to make a working air well—had Zibold used the real ones in the tomb his experiment would have been a failure—and had weather conditions been more characteristic of the area (not as much fog), it wouldn’t have worked as well as Zibold reported it did. Neither of these problems were discovered until 90 years after Zibold’s experiment. In other words, Zibold inadvertently invented a new technology as a result of a failed attempt to replicate a lost technology that didn’t actually exist in the first place.”
I love this kind of thing.
I kind of hope, if we ever meet aliens, that this is our thing. Other species might be better athletes, or record-keepers, or logical thinkers, but we’re the ones who can basically say “Well, I know now that you were kidding about having a ray gun that turns things into sugar, but while you were laughing over how I actually believed it was possible I went and actually made one, and then improved it to the point that I can choose macro-level structures as well so I now have a gun that turns things into skittles.”
lads had a dream last night that i was at the elton john concert and halfway through crocodile rock he switched to a prince medley and real live flesh and blood prince walked out on stage, and into the stunned, hushed silence i said quietly, “i thought you were dead” and he looked straight at me through the crowds of a million people, put his mouth against the mic, and said “do i look like the kind of man who dies” absolute legend
Yep. Definitely gonna do it. This is a good night for it.
I know some of y’all figured this out by now. Those of you who had “LMS is gonna finally reveal the recipe for the best dish on planet Earth”, CONGRATU-FUCKIN-LATIONS, you were absolutely right. Buckle up and get ready for some life-changing knowledge
STEP ONE: cut up a shitload of carrots, celery, and an onion. Cut them thin, but not too thin. You want the sauce to have a little bit of chunk to it. Not the onion though. Cut that shit super thin. Ain’t nobody wants a big ass bite of thick onion.
STEP TWO: mix the carrots, onions, and celery together in a bowl and let them chill out on the counter for a bit. We’ll be getting back to these momentarily.
STEP THREE: cut up a pound of bacon. Yeah, a whole goddamn pound. Not like a piece or two. Just throw the whole package in there. Then sauté that in a pan with a stick of butter.
Stir until brown.
STEP 4: Turn on some 80’s music. If you have an Alexa in your house, tell her you want 80’s pop. This will be important later.
STEP FIVE: Pull the bacon out of the sauté pan, set aside, but don’t drain the pan. Leave the bacon grease and butter in there. It’s fucking delicious and I didn’t say this was the healthiest recipe on planet earth. Just the best. Anyway, in the pan with the bacon grease, stir in the carrot/onion/celery mixture, which I will be calling mirepoix from now on because I know my shit. Then pour some olive oil on top of it. Sauté it until the mirepoix is nice and soft.
STEP SIX: stir the bacon and the mirepoix together and set that aside. Then grab two pounds of ground beef. Two whole pounds. Maybe more if you hate cows. I don’t though. Cows always seemed pretty chill. Anyway, brown the beef in the leftover bacon grease/butter/olive oil that was left behind from the mirepoix.
Once it’s brown, drain all the liquid.
STEP SEVEN: grab a bottle of cheap ass Pinot Grigio. Nothing expensive. We’re cooking with this. Seriously don’t pay more than 5 bucks. Open the bottle, pour 1 and ¾ cup into the pan with the beef. Pour the rest in a glass.
STEP EIGHT: Chug the glass of wine. This ain’t sipping wine. This is chugging wine. Because you are a grown ass adult, this shouldn’t take more than one or two big drinks.
STEP NINE: if “Thriller” has come up on your 80’s playlist by this point, you have to do the zombie dance. It helps the food taste better.
STEP 10: once the wine has reduced with the beef, pour the beef into a big ass pot and mix it together with the mirepoix and about a cup and a half of chicken broth and 6 tablespoons of tomato paste.
Bring it to a low boil for some reason and then knock the stove back down to like a 2. Let it sit for a good solid 45 minutes, but for fuck’s sake stir it a bunch.
STEP…ELEVEN? Is this step 11? I think that’s right. Anyway, stir some nutmeg in there. Don’t overdo it. You want just like a tiny hint of it. But since this is a big ass recipe, you also don’t want to under-do it. Just sprinkle some in there and use your best judgment.
STEP TWELVE: put some pasta in a separate pot. No, don’t make your own pasta. Fuck whatever Gordon Ramsey says, he’s not here and this is already a big enough pain in the ass. Just buy some pasta and put it in some boiling water. Then go play Diablo with your partner while you wait on everything
STEP THIRTEEN: if at any point the Bangles’ “Walk like an Egyptian” comes on and your partner does the dance with no prompting from you, slap them on the ass and tell them you love them
STEP FOURTEEN: about 10 minutes before you are going to serve dinner, turn the stove down to the lowest setting and stir a pint of heavy whipping cream into the sauce
DO NOT LET THIS FUCKING BURN
STEP 15: serve over pasta with some parmasean cheese and a gigantic glass of wine. Eat, drink, make shitty jokes with whoever you love the most and enjoy life.
Congrats on making the very best dish that mankind ever conceived, and you are absolutely welcome for how impressed your loved one is with you right now.
@lovemysub and @belovedsangi I would like to make a Lake House visit request please because OH MY GODDDDD.
We can definitely Bolognese it up in that bitch just for you @danipup 😘
Nogling 