1. A dark fairy tale as a metaphor for the effects of war on children, set in the midst of the Spanish Civil War 2. A superhero movie that features a war between mankind and magical creatures 3. An action movie where the heroes have to share their minds and bond emotionally so they can punch aliens from the sea better. Also Charlie Day is a scientist. 4. Basically what would happen if all three Bronte sisters got hammered and wrote a book with Lord Byron. and 5. An adorable woman falls in love with a fish man. Not a merman. A FISH MAN.
A few years ago, when I was living in the housing co-op and looking for a quick cookie recipe, I came across a blog post for something called “Norwegian Christmas butter squares.” I’d never found anything like it before: it created rich, buttery and chewy cookies, like a vastly superior version of the holiday sugar cookies I’d eaten growing up. About a year ago I went looking for the recipe again, and failed to find it. The blog had been taken down, and it sent me into momentary panic.
Luckily, I remembered enough to find it on the Wayback Machine, and quickly copied it into a file that I’ve saved ever since. I probably make these cookies about once a month, and they last about five days around my voracious husband – they’re fantastic with a cup of bitter coffee or tea. I’m skeptical that there is something distinctively Norwegian about these cookies, but they do seem like the perfect thing to eat on a cold day.
Norwegian Christmas Butter Squares
1 cup unsalted butter, softened
1 egg 1 cup sugar 2 cups flour 1 tsp vanilla ½ tsp salt Turbinado/ Raw Sugar for dusting
Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Chill a 9×13″ baking pan in the freezer. Do not grease the pan.
Using a mixer, blend the butter, egg, sugar, and salt together until it is creamy. Add the flour and vanilla and mix using your hands until the mixture holds together in large clumps. If it seems overly soft, add a little extra flour.
Using your hands, press the dough out onto the chilled and ungreased baking sheet until it is even and ¼ inch thick. Dust the top of the cookies evenly with raw sugar.
Bake at 400 degrees until the edges turn a golden brown, about 12-15 minutes. Remove from the oven. Let cool for about five minutes before cutting the cooked dough into squares. Remove the squares from the warm pan using a spatula.
So I tried this recipe.
And it is GREAT.
It basically makes the platonic ideal of commercial sugar cookies, only in bar form. When I give them to people (which I do a lot, because this is one of those simple recipes where the results seem very impressive), I just tell them they’re sugar cookie bars.
Gollum wasn’t driven insane by the ring, he only ate fish for 500 years and had mercury poisoning as well as serious vitamin D deficiency
this suggests that the goblins who live in the upper portions of Gollum’s cave complex were mining coal or otherwise producing industrial mercury-laden waste in sufficient quantities to enter the tissues of the fish in the lower portions of the cave. And I for one am here for this level of background detail for the lifestyle and culture of creatures described in the text as degraded and socially primitive. Stamped and Approved
But….. Fish are high in vitamin D…..
THAT IS SUCH A GOOD POINT
Unless the goblins he occasionally captured and ate had a diet heavy in fruits and veg he was missing most vitamins and minerals!
Fact that nobody wants: in 2004 a group of med students published “research”* suggesting that Gollum may have suffered from Vitamin B12 deficiency in later life, but they concluded that he was more likely to have had a long-standing personality disorder. However, this was, of course, a BMJ Christmas paper and therefore not “real,” and therefore I can’t cite it to back up any claims.
which I wouldn’t WANT to because I want an INDUSTRIAL GOBLIN SOCIETY from this poor shitpost, that is ALL that i ASK,
So, I MEANT to say “oh crap, I left my phone in my car,” but what I ALMOST said was “oh no, I left my cone in my phar,” and damn, wouldn’t that have been embarrassing, but I caught myself, and what I ACTUALLY said was
ok i think ive come up with a playlist that encompasses all known uniquely human experiences:
“arsonists lullaby” by hozier, “closer” by nine inch nails, “running up that hill (a deal with god)” by kate bush, and “loveshack” by the B-52s.
these experiences are, of course: arson, horny depression, 3 am manic episode trying to bargain with god, and when youve got you a car thats as big as a whale and youre heading on down to the love shack
Nogling 